Big 3!!!!

Cannot Believe Trevor is already 3!!!!

He has always been stuck on "Cars" but has recently loving "Toy Story" ALOT!!!

He tried..but did need help blowing out his candle

Nummy whipped cream frosting!!!

No problem opening presents THIS year

Got his "Woody"..just like a scene from the show..he LOVES it!!!!

                                                          Here's to another big step in boyhood!!!!!Happy Birthday Trevor!!!!

Forgotten Treasure

Has anyone listened to teenagers have a conversation lately??Not just a everyday "He thinks your cute" type conversation...but real talking from the heart. It is pretty alarming. In this age of "emo" and cutting yourself just to feel better..is there really many adults paying attention? Many kids live in true darkness...many have lost complete hope for the future....thinking that the world is going to end anyway..so why try. Who has held their new baby softly in their arms and thought that there could be no greater treasure...promise that you will always be there for them...you will never let anything happen to them. But then...something happens...that precious little bundle of happiness suddenly is no longer recognizable...they do not listen..they argue. Sometimes...more and more...this happens sooner than later...and they are left...forgotten...given up on. Maybe they were even born into this mentality. What is happening to our children people??I know that there is other people out there like me that thinks their children are the very breath they breathe..(even the teens) however...we are few. We are seriously looking at our future in the face...and letting it slip away.I am torn up every day...thinking of the ones we have lost. My own daughter went through a rash of many friends succeeding in taking their own life...with one...she was on the phone talking to one friend..while the other found another friend in the bathroom...bloody...and took her last breath in his arms as she repeated "I'm sorry". How I would have loved to just reach out to this angel...I cannot imagine how alone and scared she was.How hard this was on my girl. I know that there are very happy...well adjusted teens out there. But culturally in this area...there are more of the forgotten ones. My kids have had friends over that their parents seriously had no idea where their kids were and what they were doing. I have had kids over that actually seemed to come over because we were more family oriented..and she seemed to enjoy doing chores for me. My heart just breaks when I hear parents complain harshly about their teen.Now I gripe about my girls million shoes everywhere...and my son being way hyper. But things that I have heard is just unimaginable.These kids can be amazing!!! I know also that there are those who have parents that will do everything...and still does not get through. Yes...I know. but at a whole...this is life nowadays. Beautiful, precious, priceless treasures being tossed aside because it is too hard, parents just want to focus on themselves, or just never even wanted to be parents. I know at times I may seem immature...my "twilight" obsession...or that I will stay up playing "Halo" on the x-box.But you know what??? My kid...is at home...with me...and I am communicating. Not on the street, not drinking or doing drugs..but spending time with their mom. Your kid will come to you...asking you to listen to a song...or to see a movie...but in your busy world...they will only hear "Not now" so many times before they stop asking...before they close themselves off to you. Isn't that precious bundle you held so long ago worth 5 minutes of your time now??? Please...love your children. Have a positive attitude about them...if you look at it as wonderful...it is wonderful.Be open...mistakes will be made( But you made it through life with none right??). Never turn your back on them...show them that life is worth living.And that they are still worth your time.Ohhhh no...I am not claiming to be an expert...or that I am right about everything...I just love my kids...and that everyone should grow up in that type of love. Reach out..and claim the treasure before you....before it is too late...Now...my plan is to make this blog a very fun one...but also...I was just want to get out what is in my heart.

Barbed wire and roses

  When "Once upon a time" really was once upon a time

I can remember so clearly being in grade school. So many different teachers would plan some profound lesson on careers and always getting a pep talk on reaching for the stars and becoming great things. They would end their whole little meaningful talk by searching to see what a big change would come over us...what big dreams they had helped us build for the future...they would go around the room and have us reveal what amazing thing we were to be. There were Doctors and lawyers...such amazing aspirations coming from such little kids.Then...just as the teacher would get to me..eyes shining bright with a giant ego...they would ask me. From all the memories I can muster up...only I EVER gave this answer. I wanted to be a wife and mother.The teacher would clear their throat and chuckle..."No dear....if you could just automatically become ANYTHING in the world...what would it be?? Becoming annoyed I would repeat what I had just said. All my life all I ever really wanted was to be married and have kids. And really...as much crap as I would get for the deepest desire of my heart...is that not one of the most important things??Without good mommies..there would not be a need for anything else.I really did not dream much of a handsome prince and a castle...but just a plain old house..kissing husband as he went to work...spending the day teaching my kids and making my house a home. Now...I have had some experiences like this...I lived in this crazy little pink trailer...husband trotted off to work...and I was happy.But for some reason..my life does not have written that I have.."they lived happily ever after". I have come to the point where I just have to face that maybe marriage was only for one chapter in my book. For so long I held on to the dream because I have embedded gifts with relationships...how to make them special...how to keep a spark alive...making sure there is always something new...adding fun. But...unfortunately....this takes 2...and when your other just wants to come home...get in his jammies..and zone out in front of the tv....well...building good things really is not that possible.Now I like TV just as much as anyone...but being closed off...I do not.I want to live life...not just sit idle. The mommy part of my life has and is simply amazing...but there again...can be lonely if your other is not wanting to be part of it. I have had 5 kids...and not once have I seen any of my husbands eyes light up when my tummy jumped with baby kicks...I have seen some dads to be that just could not keep their hands off their wife's giant belly. I have seen my own brother with a new baby..putting him on a pillow and just staring in awe.I have never had someone go in the backyard and teach my kids to throw a baseball. Consistently tuck my kids in bed and read a story. How sad and lonely this is.Yes...you can be all alone and be married.But...my kids...they have saved my life. They make my life worth living...they make me who I am. And if I have to do it all alone...then so be it. Who am I??? I am a single mom. And I love that. If I am surprised someday to find a guy who really can go the distance...bring it on. But I do not want "prince charming" ..I want someone who can get right on there...roll up his sleeves...wipe the sweat from his brow and work side by side. Bring laughter in my home instead of yelling. Let my kids be kids.And when the day is done...hold my hand and know that we accomplished it all TOGETHER. Is there such a man??? Yes. Is there such a man for me? I am not sure.But right now....there are 5 of the most incredible people looking to ME. I take my mommyhood seriously...the greatest honor you can bestow upon me.I will not dwell on once upon a time...my life is now!!!!

THe Great Candy Cane Heist

It was the greatest mastermind operation in history. Strategically planned and carried out by that dastardly villain Trevor "the Trevanator" Shepherd and his loyal side kick Trinny Grace aka "cutie pie". Their poorl mother never saw it coming. There it sat..that beautiful delicious cane of candy glistening atop the Christmas tree. Ever so smartly placed (at least she thought) by a Ms. Molly Malone...how could 2 such little ones reach that?? One can never assume such a thing again.The fateful night was the eve before Christmas eve. The temptation had just gotten to great..they just HAD to sink their greedy little teeth into the oozy peppermint goodness.The mom was walking the hall..preparing to place the children in bed for the night..when suddenly...there they were...two adorable baby blue eyes flashed in front of her....the "precious" little piggy tailed teddy bear toting girl toddled into her heart by holding up her favorite froggy book and said "blafilah" which the mom knew in baby language as "read me a book" Unable to ever resist such a request...the mom swept up her little angel and sat down. Unlike any other time..the little girl got up..took her mom by the hand..and led her into the bedroom unseen by the living room..and.... the Christmas tree. With his mom being distracted...the evil little boy was free to perform the unspeakable..the grand theft of the candy cane!!!It appeared that the mom had underestimated just how tall the almost 3 year old had become..and with just a boost of height provided by standing on top of a baby wipe container..and with the assistance of the boys stiff cowboy hat...that candy cane had very easily been knocked out of the tree. (this had later been proven when a second attempt had been made)Then..just as quickly as the little girl had come upon her mother...she got up and ran down the hall.With the freedom that the mom now had..she made sure her little "sweethearts" were safe...and started organizing clothes. After the course of a whole FIVE minutes..the mom realized the children were not in the living room...and there was an eerie silence...no laughter..no stomping of feet...no songs or the sound of toys...nothing...except a very faint crackling of plastic. Being suspicious..the mom set out on a quest to discover what may be happening. As she turned the corner..she was faced with the horrid truth..their they sat..side by side..with the biggest grinchy mischievous smiles..with long tinges of red streaming down both side of their mouth..were her two youngest.."innocent" little angels. As the mom put her hand on her hip...their evil chuckling stung into the night. Yep..they had gotten the best of the mom who thought she had seen everything..and that she could outwit them all..she had proven to be very wrong.It will be a sight that she will NEVER forget..and a Christmas that will forever be remembered. I will make sure to put the candy canes higher in the future. Merry Christmas to all my cherished family and friends..and to those who have kids...WATCH them little boogers like a hawk...and never think that they cannot do something!!!